Imagine, if you can, the commentator of a sports programme saying something along the lines of " what an incredible performance, this guy is really on top of his game right now, he could be the best there is." To me, and you I should think, that would conj our up a vision of health and fitness, toned and muscular possibly a vision of a really well developed young man, or me, now I am in the gym every night!
Imagine my surprise when I turned to see this vision of health and fitness and was greeted by a fat slob, with a beard that had never seen any grooming, ripped jeans, lumberjack shirt, straining to get out of a welded shut car door window.
The"World Championship" he had just won was a kind of demolition car race. The main skill required was to weld stuff to your car and avoid getting hammered by your rivals. Ah but this would be a unique niche sport I hear you say, but no, this is on Sky Sports 1 (or ESPN the US equivalent) and it was repeated over two or three nights, just in case you missed it!
Gladiators, the UK entertainment show, is bordering on being a serious sport with analysis and all sorts of helpful insights into the whole process. Gladiators!!!
If you accept the three main sports, Baseball, Basketball and American Football or "Rugby for girls" as as I jokingly called it and was verbally lynched, are just that, sports, there is also some real bizarre stuff going on.
Looking at the schedule there is the quite thrilling "sports" programme that is basically a car auction, very nice cars to be fair, but an auction. Just to make the point it is on for HOURS, and I, naively thinking this was an annual event, was very surprised when I was asked to tune in next week to see it again. It's not just the actual programmes, the ubiquitous adverts as well have to be included every couple of minutes, and the endless analysis, on and on and on, it's drivel.
Also, we should not ignore world championship Bass fishing, and every morning there is a sports programme on how to kill stuff, this morning it was bears. The gopher shooting was hysterical if you ignore the cruelty element of shooting the equivalent of your pet hamster. I am not joking the list is endless.
Then there is wrestling. I am almost ashamed to admit that my son is a big fan, I can use the excuse he is young and I can beat it out of him (joke), but loads of people here think it is:
a) real
b) a sport, and even more puzzling
c) not fixed!
I could weep, if being gullible were a sport these folks would be world champions like our overweight car driver. When you consider the list of world titles the US lay claim to it is generally because no one else takes part. They just seem to make up stuff to do and make themselves world champs. The areas where they do compete on a world stage in team sports, like "soccer," they are ranked a tad above Trinidad and Tobago and are quite frankly, crap.
Wednesday 19 November 2008
Friday 14 November 2008
Cars and Cuisine
End of week two, generally pretty good, a few surprises but all in all pretty good. I met the manager of our biggest customer, expected it to be really challenging, turned out it was enjoyable, positive and nowhere near as difficult as I first thought. Met up with a "loyal" member of staff and it was crap, but those situations can be the same the world over.
I got a car today, when I say car I mean truck, when I say truck I mean a great big hulking Ford 150 that is the size of a small bedsit you could pay considerable cash for in inner London.
While, as I have made clear, I quite like the American way of life in general, I do however really struggle with this one. It's just massive, it's slow, comber some and stops well within a mile of when you first apply the brakes! I am obviously in a minority of one because EVERYONE has one. This is the standard issue vehicle for our company, and the one I have is going on to a more deserving home shortly when my permanent, and slightly less enormous, chariot arrives. The intended owner arrived today to have a look at his new truck (I hope I don't scratch it before he gets it!) he had his wife with him, and they were just soooo in love with the new beast, don't get it, never will, but on the plus side it does do almost 14 miles to the gallon!!!
I have just had my tea in my very nice hotel room. I have had a superbly cooked sirloin, with mushrooms and a jacket potato with just loads of stuff on it, butter, cream, bacon bits, you name it this potato had it, that would be no surprise to anyone who knows me. What may surprise some folks is the starter, I enjoyed it almost as much, which is unusual as it was a salad! I do not mean the lacklustre wish washy salads of the UK this was an enormous salad with everything you have ever seen in a salad with it, apart from pasta as that would constitute a different meal entirely. Still not convinced? Well nor was I until you add the dressing, again not the coloured water of my home, but thick cheese sauce, thousand island with lumps, honey and mustard with real bees ( well almost) they are gorgeous. I have eaten at least one salad every day since I have been here, considering my "5 a day" at home was more like 5 a week this is a huge change, like the gym, this US lifestyle might be good for me! I was reliably informed by some dear friends that I would be the size of a house upon my return, and with an overwhelming choice of food outlets that could have been the case.
There is a two tier food outlet system here and the upper end will keep you in fine fettle, steak houses, pasta, fresh fish, Thai food, Sushi and this is the restaraunt within a five minute walk of the hotel, all serving the marvellous salads. However, beware the familiar. I think I mentioned I was a little unwell not long after my arrival? Well as I felt a little better I really fancied some chicken, not just any chicken, but some KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN with FRIES and an unfeasibly large COKE. I had been thinking for hours of this meal. Hours and hours, and eventually I dragged my poorly butt out of bed, washed, dressed and feebly but determinedly set off for the good ol KFC. I walked in to the luxury surroundings of the Twin Falls KFC and imagine my delight when I saw many free tables, apart from what looked like a married couple, one of whom (him) was massive, she was a little less large, but unfortunately had an oxygen tank and one of those tube under the nose jobs, not the best advert for the fare available.
Undeterred I walked manfully up to the counter, ordered a KFC chicken breast meal, no bones and very nice in KFC Shrewsbury, Shropshire. The 10 year old girl serving, obviously felt sorry for my ill health, and offered to bring my meal across. She then handed me an enormous Coke cup, free refills, like anyone could drink two, and off I hobbled with the first part of my days desires fulfilled.
As I sat watching the healthy couple in the corner my meal arrived, it had chicken without doubt, but no fries, instead there was a large dollop of mash potato, and the side serving that in the UK would be a small serving of baked beans or sweetcorn etc was around half a pound of cold slaw which was disappointing, but nowhere near as disappointing as the whole thing being covered in gravy, thick really horrible gravy. My enjoyment knew no beginning!! It was only around £4 so one shouldn't really complain.
Until you consider the afore mentioned meal. I had a great salad with blue cheese dressing, a superb 8oz (cooked) Sirloin, with fried mushrooms and the fully covered baked potato. Also included were some cake things which I couldn't manage. This was delivered to my door, with delivery and a service charge included, for..................................... ..... £11.75!!!! It's not worth eating at the crappy places, it really isn't!
I got a car today, when I say car I mean truck, when I say truck I mean a great big hulking Ford 150 that is the size of a small bedsit you could pay considerable cash for in inner London.
While, as I have made clear, I quite like the American way of life in general, I do however really struggle with this one. It's just massive, it's slow, comber some and stops well within a mile of when you first apply the brakes! I am obviously in a minority of one because EVERYONE has one. This is the standard issue vehicle for our company, and the one I have is going on to a more deserving home shortly when my permanent, and slightly less enormous, chariot arrives. The intended owner arrived today to have a look at his new truck (I hope I don't scratch it before he gets it!) he had his wife with him, and they were just soooo in love with the new beast, don't get it, never will, but on the plus side it does do almost 14 miles to the gallon!!!
I have just had my tea in my very nice hotel room. I have had a superbly cooked sirloin, with mushrooms and a jacket potato with just loads of stuff on it, butter, cream, bacon bits, you name it this potato had it, that would be no surprise to anyone who knows me. What may surprise some folks is the starter, I enjoyed it almost as much, which is unusual as it was a salad! I do not mean the lacklustre wish washy salads of the UK this was an enormous salad with everything you have ever seen in a salad with it, apart from pasta as that would constitute a different meal entirely. Still not convinced? Well nor was I until you add the dressing, again not the coloured water of my home, but thick cheese sauce, thousand island with lumps, honey and mustard with real bees ( well almost) they are gorgeous. I have eaten at least one salad every day since I have been here, considering my "5 a day" at home was more like 5 a week this is a huge change, like the gym, this US lifestyle might be good for me! I was reliably informed by some dear friends that I would be the size of a house upon my return, and with an overwhelming choice of food outlets that could have been the case.
There is a two tier food outlet system here and the upper end will keep you in fine fettle, steak houses, pasta, fresh fish, Thai food, Sushi and this is the restaraunt within a five minute walk of the hotel, all serving the marvellous salads. However, beware the familiar. I think I mentioned I was a little unwell not long after my arrival? Well as I felt a little better I really fancied some chicken, not just any chicken, but some KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN with FRIES and an unfeasibly large COKE. I had been thinking for hours of this meal. Hours and hours, and eventually I dragged my poorly butt out of bed, washed, dressed and feebly but determinedly set off for the good ol KFC. I walked in to the luxury surroundings of the Twin Falls KFC and imagine my delight when I saw many free tables, apart from what looked like a married couple, one of whom (him) was massive, she was a little less large, but unfortunately had an oxygen tank and one of those tube under the nose jobs, not the best advert for the fare available.
Undeterred I walked manfully up to the counter, ordered a KFC chicken breast meal, no bones and very nice in KFC Shrewsbury, Shropshire. The 10 year old girl serving, obviously felt sorry for my ill health, and offered to bring my meal across. She then handed me an enormous Coke cup, free refills, like anyone could drink two, and off I hobbled with the first part of my days desires fulfilled.
As I sat watching the healthy couple in the corner my meal arrived, it had chicken without doubt, but no fries, instead there was a large dollop of mash potato, and the side serving that in the UK would be a small serving of baked beans or sweetcorn etc was around half a pound of cold slaw which was disappointing, but nowhere near as disappointing as the whole thing being covered in gravy, thick really horrible gravy. My enjoyment knew no beginning!! It was only around £4 so one shouldn't really complain.
Until you consider the afore mentioned meal. I had a great salad with blue cheese dressing, a superb 8oz (cooked) Sirloin, with fried mushrooms and the fully covered baked potato. Also included were some cake things which I couldn't manage. This was delivered to my door, with delivery and a service charge included, for..................................... ..... £11.75!!!! It's not worth eating at the crappy places, it really isn't!
Tuesday 11 November 2008
Family Sunday and Gym time
Well, week two and all is well. I have appointments booked with key staff and key customers. All very exciting. It has to be said the whole structure here is looking a mess. It has not been made that way but has evolved over the years, my mission, and I have chosen to accept it, is to sort it out !
Had an invite to a colleagues house on Sunday and spent the afternoon with Joe, his wife and kids. It was very very pleasant and we spent the time discussing everything from politics to culture to religion. I do love a good discussion, always have, but I have learned in the US that all of these subject matters are very dangerous ground! One thing that the folks in the US have EVERY time is a belief in their country/politics/President. It's interesting that now the election is over the view is the country must support the new President and support the new regime. I think from our UK perspective this could be perceived as arrogant, but the more I see it, the more I think I like it, and if we had a culture built around national pride and civic responsibility many of the "youth culture" problems of today may not be quite as prevalent. If it goes too far you can have the National Front scenario, or it's US equivalent, but from a general view I think on the whole its good. Joe and his family are part of the large Mormon community in the area and are thoroughly decent pleasant people, I got a great understanding of the basis of their beliefs and have to say it was highly interesting, however as things stand it is unlikely I will change my current stance of strong disbelief!!
I rang home today, as is my want, and after the domestic discussions with my better half I had a chat with the kids, it is a little bit lump in the throat sometimes, but today they laughed, they laughed very much. Why ? I happened to mention that as I spend evenings alone and with nothing to do I was going to the gym, and when I came home I would be thin and fit. They thought the fact that I would be healthy was the funniest thing ever, they laughed like adults that have heard a really funny joke, little sods! My darling boy said he would miss being able to rest on my fat tummy!! Just as I was feeling a little miffed at their lack of faith in me, my still darling boy asked if I new what mummy had been doing since I left, suspecting a little gossip I said no, he then said "she's done no washing, she's done no cleaning or cooking" so I just had to ask, "all she has done is smoke cigarettes and play Zelda on the PlayStation" now that is why sometimes, just sometimes, kids can brighten your entire week let alone your day, my turn to laugh !!!!
Had an invite to a colleagues house on Sunday and spent the afternoon with Joe, his wife and kids. It was very very pleasant and we spent the time discussing everything from politics to culture to religion. I do love a good discussion, always have, but I have learned in the US that all of these subject matters are very dangerous ground! One thing that the folks in the US have EVERY time is a belief in their country/politics/President. It's interesting that now the election is over the view is the country must support the new President and support the new regime. I think from our UK perspective this could be perceived as arrogant, but the more I see it, the more I think I like it, and if we had a culture built around national pride and civic responsibility many of the "youth culture" problems of today may not be quite as prevalent. If it goes too far you can have the National Front scenario, or it's US equivalent, but from a general view I think on the whole its good. Joe and his family are part of the large Mormon community in the area and are thoroughly decent pleasant people, I got a great understanding of the basis of their beliefs and have to say it was highly interesting, however as things stand it is unlikely I will change my current stance of strong disbelief!!
I rang home today, as is my want, and after the domestic discussions with my better half I had a chat with the kids, it is a little bit lump in the throat sometimes, but today they laughed, they laughed very much. Why ? I happened to mention that as I spend evenings alone and with nothing to do I was going to the gym, and when I came home I would be thin and fit. They thought the fact that I would be healthy was the funniest thing ever, they laughed like adults that have heard a really funny joke, little sods! My darling boy said he would miss being able to rest on my fat tummy!! Just as I was feeling a little miffed at their lack of faith in me, my still darling boy asked if I new what mummy had been doing since I left, suspecting a little gossip I said no, he then said "she's done no washing, she's done no cleaning or cooking" so I just had to ask, "all she has done is smoke cigarettes and play Zelda on the PlayStation" now that is why sometimes, just sometimes, kids can brighten your entire week let alone your day, my turn to laugh !!!!
Friday 7 November 2008
Tough Jobs and TV
Well here is Friday, I survived the first week, and my first major job. Which is to sack some poor guy. Cut a long story short his driving record really let him down to the extent that he wouldn't be allowed to drive for us, should have been checked before we took him on, but you live and learn. It went well, or as well as these things can, but was a real eye opener compared to the English model. There is a very different approach to DUI (driving under the influence) here, to the extent that you don't actually lose your license rather than have restrictions applied, very civilised.
I am really enjoying the days, taking a pretty chaotic structure and trying to imagine in the first instance what it should look like, looking at the business from many angles. Next week I need to talk to some of the field guys to get some perspective on their world, and how we can improve it, and then pull it all together in an action plan we can all follow.
Socially it is rubbish, and the amount of sleep I am getting I am sure is very healthy, but soooooo dull. The TV is OK ish, but the adverts, the endless tedious adverts O MY GOD how can that be entertainment? I was fortunate to catch a soccer game this week, that's a lie I caught THE soccer game this week Manchester United v Celtic, and during the half time interval when they were showing the highlights of other games they had 5, yes 5, sets of adverts in a fifteen minute gap between the two halves. Then just to really make the point the content is very very odd. The drug adverts are really funny, in a three minute commercial for a nicotine aversion pill one minute describes the benefits of not smoking, the next two minutes go through the problems you may encounter while taking them, including; suicide, suicidal thoughts, diarrhea, (probably want to kill yourself because of all the diarrhea!) inability to sleep, lucid dreams no dreams, sweating and finally, moods. The closing line of ask your doctor if the pill could help you is almost laugh out loud funny, yes it could help, if you were a paid up member SuicideR Us, have an impacted colon, or perhaps feel you are having to much sleep, I never thought of that, perhaps it could help me, at least with the sleep issue !!! More next week, can't wait.
I am really enjoying the days, taking a pretty chaotic structure and trying to imagine in the first instance what it should look like, looking at the business from many angles. Next week I need to talk to some of the field guys to get some perspective on their world, and how we can improve it, and then pull it all together in an action plan we can all follow.
Socially it is rubbish, and the amount of sleep I am getting I am sure is very healthy, but soooooo dull. The TV is OK ish, but the adverts, the endless tedious adverts O MY GOD how can that be entertainment? I was fortunate to catch a soccer game this week, that's a lie I caught THE soccer game this week Manchester United v Celtic, and during the half time interval when they were showing the highlights of other games they had 5, yes 5, sets of adverts in a fifteen minute gap between the two halves. Then just to really make the point the content is very very odd. The drug adverts are really funny, in a three minute commercial for a nicotine aversion pill one minute describes the benefits of not smoking, the next two minutes go through the problems you may encounter while taking them, including; suicide, suicidal thoughts, diarrhea, (probably want to kill yourself because of all the diarrhea!) inability to sleep, lucid dreams no dreams, sweating and finally, moods. The closing line of ask your doctor if the pill could help you is almost laugh out loud funny, yes it could help, if you were a paid up member SuicideR Us, have an impacted colon, or perhaps feel you are having to much sleep, I never thought of that, perhaps it could help me, at least with the sleep issue !!! More next week, can't wait.
Wednesday 5 November 2008
Exciting Times
Well I am here and have done my first day at the office, my second day I am ILL!!!!!!!!! How bad does that look ? How much I must be impressing my new colleagues
I begun to have the sniffles on the plane over, and felt ill yesterday evening , and last night was hideous. O well can't be helped, I have stayed away from the office today as the guys will have no immunity to my English cold!
What a great time though to be here, due to the fact I was awake most of the night I watched the US election results, the amount of coverage is huge, which is understandable in any election in any Western democracy, but the emotion here is incredible. Idaho is a Republican state, and the guys I spoke to yesterday regarded Obama as a "socialist" which from a UK perspective is bizzarre, but McCain was OK, which is quite scarey.
I get the feeling that the US media and many many people feel quite pleased with themselves that they have at elected a Black president, it's almost a feeling to say to themselves and the rest of the world "see, we are not racist." I am amazed to see (some) Black commentators saying racism was now defeated, that seems a dangerous assumption.
I have not heard anyone say that the best orator, with a message of change, who could verbally inspire huge crowds and had an extrodainary TV media presence won the election.
Set this against a Republican who came across as more of the same type policies, and an incredibly poor speaker, who could not function without cue cards and hinting at further millitary action everywhere, and whose VP was more than a little suspect. It just so happened that the winner happened to be black.
I get the impression the Republicans will have to rebuild, much the same as the UK Conservative party have had to do, so the US may have to accept that the Democrats may be here for some time. Great to watch from an outsiders view, I hope the comparrisons to Kennedy are from an inspirational view and some nutter does not try to make the whole thing even more comparable.
I begun to have the sniffles on the plane over, and felt ill yesterday evening , and last night was hideous. O well can't be helped, I have stayed away from the office today as the guys will have no immunity to my English cold!
What a great time though to be here, due to the fact I was awake most of the night I watched the US election results, the amount of coverage is huge, which is understandable in any election in any Western democracy, but the emotion here is incredible. Idaho is a Republican state, and the guys I spoke to yesterday regarded Obama as a "socialist" which from a UK perspective is bizzarre, but McCain was OK, which is quite scarey.
I get the feeling that the US media and many many people feel quite pleased with themselves that they have at elected a Black president, it's almost a feeling to say to themselves and the rest of the world "see, we are not racist." I am amazed to see (some) Black commentators saying racism was now defeated, that seems a dangerous assumption.
I have not heard anyone say that the best orator, with a message of change, who could verbally inspire huge crowds and had an extrodainary TV media presence won the election.
Set this against a Republican who came across as more of the same type policies, and an incredibly poor speaker, who could not function without cue cards and hinting at further millitary action everywhere, and whose VP was more than a little suspect. It just so happened that the winner happened to be black.
I get the impression the Republicans will have to rebuild, much the same as the UK Conservative party have had to do, so the US may have to accept that the Democrats may be here for some time. Great to watch from an outsiders view, I hope the comparrisons to Kennedy are from an inspirational view and some nutter does not try to make the whole thing even more comparable.
Monday 3 November 2008
So, this week has been really tough. Having a large group of friends, all from distinct areas of my work and social life is an absolute killer!! Why ? Because each group, practically each night of last week all felt it would a nice idea to have a few beers to "celebrate" my leaving. How much beer was drunk last week ? I need this trip to give my liver and kidneys a real break.
During the week an interesting change came over the whole process, early on it was all quite light hearted with the banter being about going on holiday etc, as the week progressed the comments became more poignant to the extent that Sunday became a really difficult and emotional day. People can be so nice at times you wonder why you ever have any problems with relationships!!
Left home a 7.30 am this morning for the crappiest plane journey in the world, 3 flights, the last one in 1 hour which gets me to Twin Falls 5.15 am tomorrow very tiring !
Leaving the kids and Lorraine this morning was too hard and upsetting. I woke them up for a cuddle before I left, they both were so upset, even Lorraine who is not given to emotional outbursts, looked on the edge. Left all three of them in bed together, cuddling up to mum and I cried all the way to the airport. I will never do this again, when I go back it will either be to pick them up, or I will have to find another job I just can't put myself or them through that again.
New job starts to tomorrow, now we will see how good (or not) I am !!
During the week an interesting change came over the whole process, early on it was all quite light hearted with the banter being about going on holiday etc, as the week progressed the comments became more poignant to the extent that Sunday became a really difficult and emotional day. People can be so nice at times you wonder why you ever have any problems with relationships!!
Left home a 7.30 am this morning for the crappiest plane journey in the world, 3 flights, the last one in 1 hour which gets me to Twin Falls 5.15 am tomorrow very tiring !
Leaving the kids and Lorraine this morning was too hard and upsetting. I woke them up for a cuddle before I left, they both were so upset, even Lorraine who is not given to emotional outbursts, looked on the edge. Left all three of them in bed together, cuddling up to mum and I cried all the way to the airport. I will never do this again, when I go back it will either be to pick them up, or I will have to find another job I just can't put myself or them through that again.
New job starts to tomorrow, now we will see how good (or not) I am !!
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